9 Tips for Online Dating: How to Read a Man’s Profile – One Woman’s Perspective
Online Dating Tip 6. Is He a Control Freak?
When we’re trying to decide if someone is a control freak, we’re getting into the realm of subtle nuances. I don’t know if the bios below are indicative of future problems or not, however I always look for clues that MAY indicate an overarching need for control.
- “I am intelligent and have a strong personality. I am tough, but I'm also an artist and writer.” (I didn’t know artist and tough were mutually exclusive.)
- “I like everything about myself because I believe in the freedom of expression. I am God fearing and loving, and I am looking for the same.” (God likes to kick me around a lot, so I have a healthy fear of Him; however, I personally shy away from the phrase God-fearing woman.)
- “I am caring, strong, protective, stable, friendly, kind of a loner, a little lonely, I am looking for a woman with an honest streak even if it hurts. A woman that is not afraid of a man that is in control of his life. A woman that wants a man to lead. Don't let honesty scare you away.” (It did.)
- “I am a man who is willing to show his deepest feelings to the right woman bare my soul and reveal my innermost dreams and desires. I am a romantic...very loving… and, once I love, my love grows and deepens. I will always want to hold your hand...look into your eyes...and tell you how much you mean to me. This is natural for me.” (A little too intense…?)
Two other potential flags: overuse of the word respect in a bio, and this phrase, “and if we meet please be punctual”.
Online Dating Tip 7. Is it All About Sex?
Yes, we ALL know that for guys it is all about sex. On the other hand, who wants to read sexual innuendos (or worse) in a man’s bio?
- “Not beat around the bush but right to the point. She can't be shy of her body.” (I’m not, but… ick.)
- “Looking 4 a woman who loves to wear sexy clothes, pantyhose, high heels and that can handle me all night so i love to meet a woman who loves to please her man as i do with my woman all night, every night.” (Speechless.)
- “If you enjoy affection, understand what sensual means, but are not kinky, well...” (Save the word kinky for the 50th date.)
- “Haven't classified bone jumping as a sport yet and if they do, I might try to coach it.” (Humor. Fail.)
Online Dating Tip 8. Is He a Flake?
A flake is the opposite of a control freak (usually). He’s an undependable guy who wants you to do everything, take responsibility for everything, and possibly pay for everything… while he just plays. Sometimes, he’s just a mental case. (I’m not saying the guys in the bios below fill the bill... I don't know them.)
- “Given the option of buying a new car or taking a trip to Spain, I'm adios.” (This is a cute line for a 19 year old, but it's less endearing when it comes from an older man.)
- “I am in this world, not of it. I am a facilitator for educational workshops, emotional literacy, responsibility and accountability… a workshop on intimacy and shadows… counseling… spiritual and emotional personal work… I also am a chef. If you are looking to experience a life based upon truth and desire… in the absence of fear… radical honesty… frequencies of love and innocence… a new dimension upon the earth… a higher vibration of relationship… I am very balanced in my masculine and feminine energies, so a little kink now and then...”
(Accckkk. The above bio sounds like an infomercial for a new age sex club with good food. In reality, this dude sounds smart, but WAY too intense. And, I’m into this alternative hippie sh*t. Slow it down, dude. Say, “Ommmmm.”)
- “I like to smoke weed when I'm at home, I only drink alcohol in social settings, and occasionally (if drinking) i will smoke a cig and regret it the next day. (There is no need to mention smoking weed unless it’s your only hobby.)
- “Laid back dont like drama like 4 wheelin camping hunting fishing trips to coast and hills drvin around in my mustang hope to meet some one with simular interests and of course sex” (I had to include this lovely example of country-boy poetry.)
The previous quote gives me a chance to inform older women that, as a whole, I thought the men over 60 had meaningful, thoughtful, and intelligent profiles compared to the younger guys. Maybe it’s not so bad to be over 60.
Online Dating Tip 9. Do His Words Sound Honest and Sincere?
We should all remember that any psychopath or con artist can copy good lines from someone else’s bio. So, the best I can do is show you snippets of various profiles and say that, to me, these guys sound basically nice, heartfelt, and somewhat normal.
However, I don’t know these guys. They could be serial killers… but they probably aren’t.
- “Healthy physically and fiscally, but pretty beat-up orthopedically. Five level spinal fusion really slows you down. I do normal activities, but sports and even moderate lifting are probably permanently in my past.”
- “Here I am at 50, more or less successful in everything except a meaningful romantic relationship. I have a great career in aerospace, I play in a local band, and I’m raising two beautiful, intelligent daughters. I am not the best looking guy. I am not very tall. I am not independently wealthy, but your pets and parents will like me.”
- “It’s hard to write about love and relationships. Let's face it. We all want the perfect life, the perfect wife, the perfect house, the perfect dog. But, in reality, we have all done stupid things, said stupid things, bought stupid things, hurt good people, lost best friends, and ruined relationships because of our selfish natures. Do I want to be here? Hell no I don't.”
Real Life Dating for Women Over 50 or 60:
These 9 tips for reading men’s profiles are not all inclusive. You are certain to run across things I’ve never encountered. And, there are always exceptions to every rule. So use your brain as well as your heart, because, as one guy says, “We are all older, we don’t have time to make too many more mistakes.”
More Articles for Smart, Hip Baby Boomer Women:
Photo Credits: Prshots.com (These are fashion photos.)
- Main Photo: Eterna.
- What Can You See in a Man's Dating Photo? Penneys Ireland.
- If He Seems Too Good to be True: Burton Menswear.
- Is He Over Past Relationship? G-Lab.
- Is He a Control Freak? Primark UK.
- Does He Only Want Sex? Marks & Spencer.
What do you think of this article? Give us hints about what worked or didn't work when you were dating online. (Your comment won't show up right away because I have to approve it and I'm waaaaaaaay behind schedule.)