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Casual Clothing for Men Over 40, 50, 60: 5 Rules for Clueless Guys

casual fashion for men over 40

by Tina Boomerina (Christina Gregoire)

If you’re a guy over 40, there’s a high statistical probability that you have no clue about what types of casual clothes you should be wearing... the kinds of styles that will keep you from looking like an old dork.

Maybe you’ve just retired and you’ve finally had the chance to burn all your suits and ties. Or, maybe you still work, but you like to let it all hang out on weekends. Either way, I’m here to help you tweak your casual look, babe.

Of course, you don’t have to listen to me. All of the ideas in this article are just my opinions. There are no “fashion police” out there. However, I think you should keep reading and just… consider… that I might be onto something. (If you’re a Portland hipster, you already have your own set of fashion rules, so go away). The rest of you gents need to read this.

Clothing for Guys over 40, 50, 60 or Whatever

There are ways to look laid back without looking like a dufus, however you might need to get some new laid-back clothing for those times when you want to look casual, but polished... well, maybe not polished… but not like a 12 year old, either.

clothing for men over 40 50 60

No Baseball Caps over 40

Rule 1: Real Men Don’t Live in Baseball Caps

You think a baseball cap makes you look like a kid, but if you’re wearing a baseball cap, you might as well be wearing Mickey Mouse ears.

It’s time to man up and admit to yourself that you’re a mature adult and you’re probably never going to play left field for the Boston Red Sox. It’s time to put your baseball cap in the back of the closet. It’s time to be one of the big boys.

I don’t like telling you this stuff, but someone has to do it. Yes, there are times when a baseball cap is the right thing for a man over 40, for example, when you’re:

  • Playing baseball
  • Coaching Little League
  • Jogging… I mean really jogging
  • Playing golf
  • Washing your car
  • Watching a major league baseball game at Dodger Stadium
  • Playing poker with your buddies
  • Hanging out in your backyard
  • Watching NASCAR

The rest of the time, you’re going to look like a little boy who never grew up… a little boy who’s in a cranky old man’s body. And, if you won’t listen to me about losing the cap, promise me you won’t wear that bloody thing backwards.

If you want to keep the sun out of your eyes and cover your bald spot, you should consider wearing something groovy like a fedora or an English driving cap. Or, if you live Out West and you’re not in an overtly gay town, you might want to try a cowboy hat. Hey, almost any hat without a propeller will do.

no shorts for men over 40

Mature Men Don't Wear Shorts

Rule 2: Adult Men Don’t Wear Shorts

Once again, I’m not talking about young hipsters and trendy metrosexuals. I’m talking about guys who are old enough to be totally clueless… guys who’ve never thought about style. Guys who let their mommies dress them, then let their first wives dress them, then let their corporations dress them, then just gave up and put on the easiest, most comfortable things in their closets after there was no one left to dress them.

I’m thinking of my husband. When I met him, he was wearing orange shorts. He was almost 60 at the time… and he’s lucky as hell that I didn’t turn around and walk out. If you look like the male model (on the left) in the shorts photo, you can wear shorts. Otherwise, save your short-pants ensembles for times when you are barbecuing in the backyard, hitchhiking along the North Shore, downing mass quantities of beer at NASCAR races, riding your bicycle, hiking the Cascade Trail, and things like that. Back in the olden days, wearing “long pants” was a sign of becoming a man. Let's bring the concept back.

Rule 3: Beer Bellies and Bomber Jackets Don’t Mix

If you have a rotund, protruding stomach, you don’t want to wear anything that pulls in underneath your tummy. A bomber jacket has elastic at the bottom, so bomber jackets are a big no-no for most guys over 40.

A similarly bad look is a T-shirt (or any shirt) which draws in tightly under the belly when the shirt is tucked into trousers that are belted just under the man's beer gut. (See middle drawing below.)

clothing for men with big guts

Cover Beer Belly with T-shirt and Overshirt

Rule 4: Overshirts and Long Jackets are Your Best Friends

If you look like you have swallowed a basketball, you need to cover your tummy. I don’t care what you looked like in high school or college. We’re talking "here and now". Don't be like the guy in the middle (of the above picture) who's wearing a tee and a pair of jeans with a bright, shiny belt buckle in the worst of all possible places. Keep reading for better ideas.

When it’s warm out, you’ll have to suck it up and wear a cotton or linen shirt over your T-shirt like the guy on the right in the illustration. I’m sorry if you’re going to get hot and sweaty. (If you don’t like it, move to a desert island or have your stomach stapled, but don’t annoy the rest of the world with your poor diet and bad genetics.) The best shirt to use as an overshirt is a button-down style with a flat hem (not a rounded, shirttail hem), as in the illustration on the right. Make sure the shirt is big enough and long enough to cover your basketball tummy. Then, it’s up to you and your wife to decide whether you should button one of the buttons to finalize the camouflage.

When it’s warm, but not warm enough for a full-on jacket, the best overshirt is a denim shirt. You can roll up the sleeves if you want to be cool.

Read article about fashion tips for clueless men

Sleeves Too Long or Short? Go Hipster

When it’s cold out, you can wear a long leather jacket or a windbreaker or anything you can button or zip to hide your stomach. Make sure your jacket is big enough that it doesn’t pull through the midsection and draw attention to that big lump in your middle.

I’m not saying that you need to be uncomfortable. You can find drawstring sweatpants or jeans with stretchy waistbands to wear under your overshirts and jackets. I don’t think I’m being unreasonable.

Rule 5: Shoes Will Make or Break Your Outfit

I don’t know how many times I’ve been on a cruise or some senseless tourist excursion and I’ve had to get on the same bus as one or two older guys wearing black socks with white Nikes or white socks with leather sandals. Now, it’s bad enough that they were wearing shorts… but really… their footwear was the icing on the cake. Shudder. It was enough to make me hurl my croissants.

If you guys absolutely must wear shorts, please wear deck shoes or loafers or sandals without any freaking socks of any kind. I don’t care what your pals in Florida wear… I don’t care if you get blisters. It’s not my fault that you didn’t break your shoes in properly.

All of you older guys should dress like Europeans. Well, not like German tourists, but I know that asking you to dress like Londoners would be asking too much... if you grew up thinking that Europe and Epcot are somehow related.

What I am getting at specifically, is your white jogging-tennis shoes. There are sport shoes that are comfortable, but not ugly. Really. In Europe those white Nike things are called marshmallows... as in, "Why does that guy have marshmallows on his feet?" It's a rhetorical question. We all know the answer... "because he's a clueless American male with no taste."

So, put on your blue suede shoes… or your Mexican Huaraches… or your old-school Hush Puppies… or go barefoot. Just don’t wear socks with shorts (unless you know what you’re doing) or ugly white Nikes with any activity that doesn’t involve hoops, bats, gloves, helmets, rackets, or wickets.

I understand that most guys are hopeless when it comes to fashion, but I don’t think I’m asking too much of you. It’s not like I expect you to learn to do the fox trot in stilettos… only women are that adept. We just want you to know that the coffee girls at Starbucks are not flirting with you… and if you’re wearing shorts and black socks, you’d better be standing on your freaking mega-yacht… or no one will be talking to you except the Chinese tour guide who expects a tip.

Guys need to learn that having witty reparte will get them nowhere if their everyday wardrobes don't include a good dose of cool, casual style.

More Articles for Baby Boomer Men and Women:

It's Hip to be Old: Things They Should Make for Baby Boomers

Cute Hearing Aids for Rock & Roll Boomer Chicks

Best Cruiser Bikes for Older Women: Seniors & Baby Boomers

How to Save Money on RV Camping Fees 

read about men's fashion

Main Photo - Fashion for Clueless Guys

Photo Credits: Photos are from prshots.com unless stated otherwise.

  • Main Photo: Hottie in T-shirt and overshirt - M&Co.
  • No Baseball Caps over 40: Cute kid - Next, old coot - theqspeaks flickr creative commons.
  • Mature Men Don't Wear Shorts: Hottie - F&F, older guy - echo9er flickr creative commons.
  • Cover Beer Belly with T-shirt and overshirt - dennisyu68 flickr creative commons.

What do you think of this article? I'm sure my husband will be happy to know that I'm bugging other people's husbands as much as I bug my own. If you think I'm wrong, let me know at the bottom of the page in the comment section or give me a Google Plus.

Tina Boomerina (AKA Christina Gregoire) is a Baby Boomer born at the end of 1952. Her mission is to make the internet a kinder and gentler place for Baby Boomer women around the world. Tina's specialty is fashion for women over 50.

Follow Me on Pinterest Follow My Boomer Lifestyle Blog on facebook

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  1. Lyn Wright

    Good advice for the fellas, but we live in Australia, where high summer is often over 40 degrees for weeks. A pair of shorts is essential to survive the heat. They look fine with an untucked polo shirt or button up short sleeve shirt. Necessity demands that mature flesh is exposed for both men and women.

    • Tina-Boomerina


      I've been to OZ on a tour... never spent a lot of time there. I know it gets hot, but unless you're in Cairns? or Queensland? isn't it winter right now?

      It might always be hot unless you're in Melbourne. Anyway, I understand your situation. If it's too hot for pants (or skirts for the chicks), it's too hot. To me, your situation is similar to that of people living in Hawaii. It's hot and you're never far from the beach, so I'll give you Aussies a special dispensation.

      I had to look it up and 40 degrees translates to 104 degrees Fahrenheit. I had to live in Bakersfield California for two years and it was about the same temperature... 100-110 degrees during the summer... so I understand that it's hot even at night wherever you are.

      On the other hand, if you can manage it, I think that long, white, cotton drawstring trousers... sort of like the hippie-chic gauze things that we used to wear in the Cali desert during the 60s/70s would look better than shorts (for men and for women). Men could top them off with a breathable rayon or cotton or silk or ? Aloha shirt or bowling-ish-style shirt. Women could wear a cotton or silk oversized boho tunic. (See Johnny Was tops for ideas. Look for something less expensive or make your own.)

      However, if you're in the Antipodes, you get to follow your own rules, but I hope you will try to wear a long boho dress or skirt from time to time. (AKA muumuu... but more chic.) And, I hope the guys will wear something other than shorts whenever you girls can nag them into putting on long pants. I know your men are sexy hunks, but they might also be sexy hunks in "big boy" trousers and jeans.

      To me, it almost sounds scary to wear shorts and sandals in certain parts of Australia. You have all those freaky little critters that bite and sting. Don't you have to wear snake stomper boots (like cowboy boots) or something to keep safe? Wouldn't you want to cover your legs to keep those little monsters away? Well, I've never lived in Australia. Maybe, you get to do everything just the opposite of the rest of the world.

      ps Guys and dolls in NZ... New Zealand is not as hot. Try to ditch the shorts from time to time. However, I won't say a word to you or your neighbors in OZ. People down under are the nicest friendliest people I've ever met. Do your own thing. Don't worry... be happy.

      • Buff Stud

        Drawstring ANYTHING is a MAJOR NO NO for men of any age in the Mid-West (USA); makes a man look like a lazy, un-refined, gigolo. He might get away with it in the privacy of his own bedroom... if the blinds are drawn.

        In summer time, properly fitting (Fitted) shorts that compliment his skin tone are acceptable, if it is to warm for jeans. Light colored Khaki shorts for pale skin; even white for SOME occasions... not ALL though. Dark khaki, greens, black for darker skin tones; AVOID WHITE, REDS, LIGHT (Pastel) SHORTS LIKE THE PLAGUE.

        Wear a belt that matches your shoes; wear NO suspenders.

        Jeans are acceptable year round for most occasions and look great with most dress shirts. Try a blazer over it, if it is cooler out.

        Drawstrings??? Pa-Leeezzzz ((eyes roll))

        • Tina-Boomerina

          Buff, wow... I never thought of "lazy gigolo" but I think you're right. I can totally see some guy with gold chains and drawstring pants hanging around the beaches of Italy. I'll never be able to get that image out of my mind... haha.

          Usually, when I think of beachy drawstring pants for men, I conjure up images of hippie guys who cover the drawstrings with Kurta tunics. But, you may have never seen hippies in the Midwest. I assure you they aren't gigolos. Well, maybe they are.

          I guess I've spent too much time around hippie dudes in the deserts of California and the beaches of Hawaii. But, gauzy beach pants don't bother me. I suppose it depends on the place and the occasion. Of course, I expect the drawstring to be covered unless the guy is Yanni.

          It's more of a new-agey look. Too much time in San Francisco in my youth... and not everyone can pull it off. You, of course, are into a much more tailored look. If you wore drawstring pants, you would look like you were in your PJs. People would slow down and yell at you to go back to bed.

          I'm sure you look much better in shorts and tailored stuff. I agree about colored shorts. I think you sound like you know your environment well. I will give you a dispensation for wearing shorts when in a casual environment... never in Europe (or Japan... I hear). You can wear shorts in Germany and act like a tourist if you want.

          Jeans are fine anywhere. You could wear jeans to the White House these days... probably.

          I stand by drawstrings over shorts in some cases AND on the LEFT coast. However, I'm a former hippie. Note: Buff, I'll let you wear shorts in Southern California if you want. People there have no taste, anyway, so who cares.

          You have adopted the standard shorts look of the Midwest. I once dated a guy with that look but he turned out to be slightly psycho. I'm sure you're not. I suppose you look fine. I still hope you will consider some kind of long pants for most occasions. Be a role model for hip, classic taste. Our country thanks you.


          • Tina-Boomerina

            ps When I say gauzy drawstring pants, I don't mean sheer, see through fabric. I mean something like linen. If you're tailored, get linen with a crease and with a regular waistband. If linen is too wrinkly for you, get a blend or something that looks like linen... or something that seems summery. If you can't do that...

            ... what do I know? I'm just giving my opinion and trying to help. I'd rather argue politics (which can be fun) than talk about different types of linen... but I hope my ideas help someone somewhere.

            All I know is... most guys look silly in shorts. You may be the exception, but this article is for most guys. And, if you think you're the exception to the rule, you might want to think again.

            I know it's because I come from a European family. I can't help it. Shorts are for young boys. Try imagining Churchill or Hitler in shorts... that may help.


    • Keith

      I think many of the true basics were not covered in this article. 1. a trim guy wears most things well. 2. Grooming...a good haircut, trimmed beard. 3. An iron even makes cargo shorts look good. I live in the hot South. I have a drawer full of cargo shorts and they aren't going anywhere. I can carry my wallet, car keys, and smart phone. And I don't have to sit on any of them. I agree with the comments about shoes, however. A nice pair of deck shoes works wonders for most casual outfits. I don't like hats...of any kind. I'll wear one while hiking or working in the yard but it's to protect my bald spot. Hats are NEVER an acceptable fashion statement.

      • Tina-Boomerina


        I agree with most of what you say. You are correct on 1, 2, the deck shoes, not 3, but you missed the boat on hats.

        I'm not in love with cargo shorts. They may be practical but I don't think they are flattering or stylish on most men. Tall, young gorgeous guys look good in them but what don't they look good in?

        You're in the South and I don't know much about the South so you can wear whatever you want. You will anyway, so I'm not going to challenge you on the cargo shorts.

        However, I will challenge you on the hat issue. I have thin, stringy hair and I have to protect my pasty white face from the sun, so I wear a hat everywhere. Yes, I'm a woman, but I have to look at men from time to time AND I have a husband.

        Hats are ALWAYS an acceptable fashion statement, but it has to be the right hat... a fedora, a toque (hipster-ish), a driving cap, a Beatle's Cap, a fez from Morocco, ears from Disneyland... anything BUT a baseball cap -- no matter how well it accessorizes your cargo pants. OK, probably not the ears, but almost everything else is a handsome, elegant look on a man. And, a baseball cap is good in certain situations. (Actually, my stepson just walked in wearing a baseball cap and he looks good in it, but his dad... looks absurd in a bb cap. It's an age-related, location-driven issue.)

        But... dear God, watch Indiana Jones again and write me back. You're telling me that Indiana Jones looks bad in a fedora? What about Johnny Depp?

        You just haven't found the right hat. I think there's a groovy Panama out there with your name on it... or a golf cap ala Bing Crosby or a lightweight fedora. Google men's hipster style hats and get more ideas.

        I was in Mississippi once to have Interstate BBQ. I was in Memphis once for a blues festival. I am not an expert on Southern dress codes... but I think you're behind the times on the hat issue. Well, I hope you'll reconsider because if you don't, I'm sure Humphrey Bogart will kick your ass someday in heaven for saying that hats are not acceptable for men.


        ps Sorry for the delay. I'm out of town.

      • Shannon

        No, sunburn and ensuing skin cancer is never an acceptable fashion statement. People need to really protect their scalps from the sun. Have you ever had sunburn on your scalp after all? Not a pleasant experience. I give passes to hat wearers. Just try to find a fashionable one so you arent a grown person walking around in Mickey Mouse ears at Disney.. guilty.

    • Martine

      I think any men that have good legs should wear shorts. I think its actually a shame that men don't wear them more. Or that they listen to these "rules". Wear what you want. No one is clueless about style, really. It comes naturally. Thats why we know when its time to wear mom jeans after wearing low rise skinny jeans for far too long. Thats why we know that cropped shorts are no longer the same thing that they were in the 80's. I am not a baby boomer, but I feel that people make a big mistake thinking that these style rules are a help.

      • Tina-Boomerina


        I'm not a FashionNazi who forces anyone to follow my suggestions. I think shorts look good on young hipsters. I think shorts look good on men on bicycles.

        I also think shorts look good in certain situations on certain people (men or women) who have a knack for putting outfits together in unique, creative ways... but not on people (mostly men) who just pull on any old thing that just happens to be within easy reach.

        * I also think you should go to London to see how "real" men dress. You may change your mind about shorts.

        If a guy is young and buff, he can do no wrong. The problem is that young, buff guys get older and fatter... and don't choose to acknowledge it. Do you really want to see your grandfather walking around the city in shorts?


        • Tina-Boomerina

          ps ... even if your grandfather has "good" legs?

        • Buff Stud

          I guess it depends on what one considers young and buff. At fifty, I am not "Young." However, at 5'7" 160 lbs and v-e-r-y athletic, I think most would consider me "Buff"; trust me, they do. I have won "Hot legs" contest previously, and my wife loves seeing them in shorts.

          I live in shorts about four months a year. To incorporate sharper style lines, I incorporate shorts tailored from dress trousers, with a length that falls to the middle of my knee; too high and they are sporty, and too long they are hipster. Invest in quality tailoring, and anything can work.

          Say what you want, but if they did not work well, my teenage daughter would not hesitate to point it out, trust me on that :D

          • Tina-Boomerina


            I'm sure you look good in shorts, but I still don't think shorts are right for most places... with the exception of the park, the beach, and Disneyland.

            I guess I like the classic looks worn by Brits. I'm not crazy about the tee-and-shorts look of Americans... with the exception of hipsters who spend a lot of time getting their eccentric outfits just right.

            * I'm not sure most men in America know how to button buttons. It's a shame.

            However, if you're going to wear shorts, yours sound like the right ones. And, I'm certainly not going to point and laugh... or say anything.

            You sound like you know what you're doing, but it's up to you. And, it probably depends on where you live.

            On the other hand, fat ugly men will see you and tell themselves they can wear shorts, too. Give it some thought. Be a good role model whenever you can muster the strength to wear long pants.


          • Antome

            Talking about beards, they can be pulled off, suffice you trim, but mainly by shaving your front neck you make a difference in terms of definition, note that I'm not including the underchin with that, just the Adam apple up to your clavicles, do all of it if needed, don't leave tuft of stray hair, I'd say. I sometimes fade it lower or higher, including then a bit of the zone under chin, but just leave the area under the jawline or it can look innatural ^_^.
            About the shorts, you know, I think the taylored kind, just above or below the knees, can be quite elegant and classy in summer, even if you're a bit on the "curvy" side :). Don't be hard on your husband, he doesn't seems to look bad for 70 even in that photo, which you said it's a quite unflattering one also ;). As you noted, untucked shirts are more flattering when one is on the heavier set.
            You said you didn't get him to wear sandals with shorts, true, but at least he got to lose the socks, is it correct? But was that uncomfy for him at first? as I know first hand it can be if we (mainly guys ^-^) are used to them. also depends, which shoes, like loafers ?

  2. Jaro

    Thank you, Tina Christina, for speaking my mind. After 44 years in Canada, I never grew accustomed to the looks of silly looking men in shorts and baseball caps. Additionally, it seems to me that with the lack of sense for elegance there is a screaming lack of sense for chivalry and romance.

    • Tina-Boomerina


      Thank you so much for your comment. I totally agree.

      I am so glad you said you are dismayed by men wearing shorts and baseball caps, because I was beginning to think I was losing it. It seems as if no one agrees with me (enough to put it in writing).

      If I see another guy over 40 in a baseball cap, I'll probably go postal. What team does he think he's on?

      Should we get those guys little propellers to put on their baseball caps? What's the answer?

      I nag my husband whenever he puts on a baseball cap. Don't those men know that a baseball cap is the male equivalent of a 70-year-old woman wearing a micro mini.

      Hey, guys... we already know you're bald. That baseball cap just makes you look like a dork. Get a British driving cap or wear an Indiana Jones fedora or put a tablecloth on your head like Yasser Arafat. Or, shave your head. Or wear a gangland beanie. Anything.

      As for the shorts... don't even get me started. The lack of chivalry and romance is... well... I could write a book about that, too. What is wrong with these men?

      Jaro, thank you so much for your comment. I feel much better after reading it.


      • Tina-Boomerina

        ps It sounds like you might be European. Most North American men and women don't understand that shorts and baseball caps may be fine for the farm or the beach, but they are inappropriate (and silly looking) in the city (or at the shopping mall or the dentist's office or the grocery store).

        • Tina-Boomerina

          Maybe all men should be required to watch films with Humphrey Bogart.

          • Tina-Boomerina


            My husband isn't bad looking. However, my last husbands were more into fashion than I was. I'm not quite sure where to go to dress a man... maybe Milano?

            And, I like beards. I talked my husband into trying to grow one, but he can't. He says he never could.


        • Antome

          Yeah, that's what I meant ;).
          No need to go to Milano. For a journey, great, just for the fashion, not worth it :D.
          But I got what you mean't, the pleasure of dressing a man, give tips and having him interested!
          You could answer the rest of my questions if you feel like it, maybe I could help. Well it would certainly help me in the shorts - loafer riddle, lol, as I said, most the time I don't wear shoes, when I don't wear sandals, most of the time I end up with socks ^_^, which is awkward, I know, but it's a small compromise.

          He can't phisically grow a beard or he's so unwillingly that his body refuse to grow it more than a few mm?

  3. Randy 55

    55 is the year, not the age, so I am on the cusp of sixty-dom.

    Your suggestions hit home. I have been aware of the shirt thing for a while, but the ball cap jab hurts. It is not so much that it is covering the bald spot, but keeping El Sol out of my eyes. Fedoras and bloke-caps just don't fit my squatty shape. No, I don't wear the flat-brimmed baseball team cap that is so loved by the clueless 20-something hip-hop-wannabees. I prefer a black, company logo cap that is neither ball cap nor trucker hat.

    One suggestion from my end... Belts should not be exposed except in dress or business casual clothing. Yes, if you suffer from "noassitol", you will need a belt to retain what little dignity you may have, but don't tuck in a t-shirt. Pleeeeeeze...

    Question: What to do when the sleeves of jackets are too long?

    • Tina-Boomerina


      I am not an expert in men's fashion. I just know what looks silly, but I'll ask my daughter about the sleeves. Of course, she will say that you should take the jacket to a tailor... but finding a good one is not that easy.

      If you're like me and you don't have a great tailor on your block, or you're like me and you're too lazy to find one, you might be able to roll up your sleeves... like Robert Redford often does. Not that I know him.

      And, I think you've found a good style of cap for your sillhouette / body type. It sounds like you've tried several styles in order to find something both functional and stylish. You sound like you may be the exception to the rule. Even if I'm not in love with baseball caps, you get an A for effort and you go to the front of the line.

      I'm going to try to find a photo that shows good rolled-up sleeves. I'll be back shortly... hopefully.


      • Tina-Boomerina

        Randy, I found some photos and put them in the article. If you are asking, other guys are wondering silently to themselves:

        If you don't have an easy way to have your sleeves altered and you don't have the time or money to get something new at Nordstroms or Macy's (where they will do alterations), I would go hipster and roll up the sleeves. It may not be your best look, I have no idea, but you could play with the different ways to roll up the sleeves (with shirt cuffs rolled back, with shirt cuffs left down) until you invent your own look.

        It might not work for business. If you work in a bank or something like that, you'll need to go to a tailor or a dry cleaner and have the cuffs hemmed up. But, that's for business suits. If you have a good tailor (ask around, email a local store), they will know what length to make them.

        If it's just a jean jacket or something for casual times, I would try rolling the sleeves up. If it's good enough for Robert Redford and guys in Beverly Hills, it's good enough for most guys.

        And, if you were asking a different question, let me know. I REALLY agree with your comments. I don't know why I left them out.


  4. Big G

    So your husband is lucky as hell you didn't turn around and walk out? Yeah, right.

    • Tina-Boomerina

      Mr Big G,

      We are all entitled to an opinion. It's a free country.


      • Tina-Boomerina

        ps I wasn't sure if you were my husband making a snide comment on the sly. Now that I know you're not, I have to wonder if you're from Kansas or someplace in the Outback.

        Where I'm from, it's just weird for a guy to show up in shorts for a first coffee date... unless he's running to Starbucks from his house... or if he's wearing bike shorts and he is biking 50 miles to meet me.

        I dated online (off and on) for about 10 years and I don't think anyone showed up in shorts other than Mr. Boomerina. And, I only gave Mr. Boomerina the benefit of the doubt because he gave me ideas about what to put into my dating book (manuscript was lost, long story, never published) and I knew Mr. Boomerina was smart because he quickly came up with some good BS on the fly.

        I was NOT looking to get remarried. It was a fluke that I did.

        I hope that makes sense. If you live in Florida, maybe it's different. If you think you're that jerk from 2 and 1/2 Men, I don't have a clue what to say that will not get me spammed.


  5. Achayya

    Keep going! Well appreciated.

    Clueless male respondent in the + 50 range.;)

  6. Roger

    Fun read that made me laugh out loud at times.

  7. robert

    Living in Vegas, one accessory that gets frowned upon is a fanny-pak. If you want a dufus award, then bring it to the casino. Keep your nice clothes ironed. So many guys wake up and rush to the buffet looking like a stroke victim. Take pride & look in the mirror check your smile and Trim your ear hairs, wild growing eyebrows, nose hairs and NEVER wear a casino new card club member t-shirt anywhere. If you look like a bargaineer pioneer, then those Dirty sneakers along with your faded skinny jeans will bring out the dork factor big time. Next is quit wearing white tennis shoes. It's like 40+ guys still want to recreate Andy Summers white sneakers from 1981. Embrace and claim your baldness, no hideous comb overs. shave it or comb it straight back. One secret to unaware tourists is if you look like an eyesore in any establishment, then they will try to find a way to get you out of there in a hurry. Best case and point. Wear your crappy clothes at home and treat everything else like a sharp dress code. Women... stay off of the heavy perfume. People will speak their mind on your over saturation.

  8. Tina-Boomerina


    I'm sorry it took so long to approve your comment. I'm out of town with limited computer access due to sketchy wi-fi problems... bummer... I want my wi-fi.


    Robert, I'm so so so so so so freaking glad you wrote that comment. Your advice applies not only to Vegas, but to every city south of Sitka. (We really don't care what you wear north of Sitka.)

    You, my new best friend, are absolutely right about the white tennis shoes. I keep throwing my husband's white tennis shoes in the trash and the Trash Fairy keeps returning them to the closet. Effing dufus award will soon be bestowed on husband #3, the inspiration for this article. Well, there were MANY inspirations for this article.

    Ear and NOSE hair. How could I have forgotten that?

    I agree that people should never wear their "casino new card club member t-shirt" in the casino - or anywhere... I don't know what kind of butt-ugly shirt that is, but you should never wear free clothing that comes with a logo or ad.

    And, your line for UNAWARE TOURISTS: "...if you look like an eyesore in any establishment, then they will try to find a way to get you out of there in a hurry..." applies to everyone everywhere, tourist or local. Hey, in Paris, they won't even serve you. Wake up American men.

    Robert, I get my own dufus award because I had to look up who Andy Summers was. If you had said, "Andy Summers" guitarist for The Police, I would have gotten the hint that you're talking about the New Wave (punk-lite) look of the 80s. Hey, babe, I'm old enough to have seen Jimi Hendrix (LIVE) in a small venue in Seattle (as a young teen with a fake ID... although I didn't need the ID for Hendrix). However, I'm not so old that I'm totally clueless... just partially clueless. It's similar to being partially deaf (slightly) from standing next to gigantic speakers at too many Rolling Stones' concerts. I knew I was taking a risk... mea culpa.

    However, I don't know the names of all the guitarists of the 80s because that's when I had kids.

    I know I'm on the road to "freaking old" but I haven't reached the dead-end cul de sac in that particular subdivision yet... but I can see it on Google Earth and I want to make a U-turn.

    Please feel free to add any additional warnings and tips for clueless men everywhere. Americans are the worst-dressed people in the world. Help me!


  9. Tina-Boomerina

    ps I once lived in LV for a few months. When summer came, I was outta there. Too freaking hot for me, but a good place to make a living.


  10. Tina-Boomerina

    Holy shizzit, I almost forgot to thank you for mentioning the fanny-pak, the horror of all horrors. I didn't know that anyone other than ironic hipsters would actually wear such a thing. May all you fanny-pakkers be pick-pocketed.

    Fanny paks are so awful that I didn't know they were still around anywhere other than thrift stores. Oh, I am going to have tourist-class nightmares tonight.


  11. B. Steven Caspe

    Tina, nice article and very much on point, but honey, sweetie, dahlink, you using the word "shizzit" in your last post, at YOUR age, is hypocritical to this article. It is tantamount to me, at 52, wearing a bedazzled Ed Hardy shirt with faded cut off jeans and white crew socks. C'mon man! Ha!

    • Tina-Boomerina

      B. Steve,

      You are right. I am a total hypocrite. I'm always trying to invent my own rules as I go and sometimes I flubber it up.

      I'll try not to say shizzit, but Google sometimes downgrades sites for using WordsBeBad so I daren't swear very often in the traditional manner.

      Oh wait... Are you saying I'm too old to use traditional WordsBeBad too? Hey, I'm an artist... not a writer. Me have limited vocabulary. Me run out of new ways to say the same old ______ (fill in the blank). But, you're right, man! Deep down, I know you're right.

      I'll try to be a good role model from now on... just for you.

      Someday, you'll be able to show a picture of me to your little granddaughters or grandnieces and say, "I hope you girls grow up to have good breeding and excellent manners like Tina Boomerina... a woman who was once a lowlife blogger with bad diction and dubious taste... a woman who rehabbed herself to become a beacon for baby boomer men and women everywhere."

      On the other hand, I would like to see you in a bedazzled Ed Hardy shirt without the cut offs and crew socks... even though you sound like you might be the kind of guy who would be able to make that WHOLE look into the latest and greatest trend.

      I wonder... you sound hipper than hip. Why not?


  12. Jay

    Fun website! I too lived in Bakersfield a few years. I have yet to recover.
    I am 57, fit and have yet to fall prey to many mistakes most of us fellas suffer from fashion wise. Trust me, I'm a screw up in many other aspects of life.

    Let me toss this out to you. I still wear shorts and tee shirts (plain for the most part, V-neck). My go to shoes are canvas Converse. I get more compliments on those things than I can count. I think the key is to keep them super clean and never, ever wear socks. Note: if you wear shorts, have a tan. Nuff said.

    These shoes are great with jeans, too. At my age, I stay away from severely faded or severely dark jeans, no skinny jeans and no bling or crazy embroidery on the pockets. Plus, stay away from jeans that sit at the waist or higher.

    Lastly, my tip for guys- if you look down the front of your stomach and cant see your belt buckle, or fly if you don't wear a belt, for the love of God don't tuck your shirt in.

    Peace out!

    • Tina-Boomerina


      I've been traveling (moving to Oregon) or I would have approved your comment earlier.

      What the hell were you doing in Bakersfield? Ackkkkk... I have yet to recover. You sound so normal... haha.

      And, if you look good in shorts and Tees, you must be in awesome shape. Baby, you would know if that wasn't a good look for you by the way people treated you (or ignored you). So, you may be one of the few cats who can get away with shorts at "that" age. And, Converse sneakers are hot. You sound like you've nailed your own unique style.

      If only more men would care about what they wear... what a wonderful world this would be... keep singing that song.

      (On the other hand, I do want you to realize that shorts are not a universally accepted look in some venues. As long as you know the difference between LV and London... you've got it.)


  13. Glenn Lott


  14. Mark

    Mid-fifties male here. Yes, yes, yes, especially with the fanny packs and the shorts. I've lived overseas most of my working career, and I can easily recognize North Americans because they mostly look like six-year-olds. And then there's the tattoo issue....

    • Tina-Boomerina


      OMG. North American men DO dress like six-year-olds. You are so right!

      I finally got my husband out of socks and suspenders (when he's wearing shorts), but I can't get him to wear long "big boy" pants.

      He's my third husband, so I got him too late for proper training... and I can't imagine going through another divorce without jumping off a bridge because divorces are so traumatic. So, I guess I'll have to live with the shorts.

      But... at least my husband's not wearing shorts with socks anymore... and we've moved to a small town in the middle of the Great American Desert (in Oregon)... so my husband looks like all the other dorky guys in the area.

      And, I did get him to wear short-sleeved shirts with actual buttons instead of T-shirts... after he saw what he looked like in this article: http://www.boomerinas.com/2015/06/02/should-men-wear-socks-with-shorts-more-fashion-help-for-clueless-men-over-40/

      That's a particularly bad photo of him. I mean... he's 70 years old but he's not quite as bad as that photo...

      (I want everyone to know that it was my husband Genghis' [Raymond's] idea to pose for that article. I asked him three times if he REALLY wanted me to post that pic because I didn't want to show it to everyone in the world, but he insisted... and, I'm happy to report that after Genghis saw what he really looked like, he lost weight and started wearing button-up shirts and following most of my advice. All women should post their husband's worst outfits online. It's like magic.)


  15. Rick McCallan

    This article is the highest display of fashion and body type bigotry, making any believing man feel that he must live within the constraints of the shallow judgement of those who are naturally and/or mentally disposed to maintaining a youthful look until death. Sorry, but the lucky amongst us get old....(and that is the greatest gift of all) then we all die....
    But before you die I wish for you to allow yourself the fullest and truest experience of one of the best parts of life. Believe it or not.... if you embrace and "own it"..... it's "Middle age". Just ask your parents or any surviving relative who you consider an elder and might know a few things more about life than you.

    If you ever allow yourself to "get it" and live "your" life to the fullest, the best part about middle age is realizing that what "they" want and tell you to do is horse@#%& primarily applying a code written by, who knows who, perpetuatign a culture of homogeneity vs individuality.
    The younger we are when we learn that, confidence, but not arrogance, is the most important attribute in being attractive, the sooner we discover who we are and what human gifts we have to amaze others with, no matter how we package it...... shorts, baseball cap or whatever fits around those amazing, maturing gifts.

    It's seems that you should just come right out and say "Cover up anything that you didn't have when you were 18 or didn't sculpt to the ideal form in the gym."

    Granted, there are many men who develop their our style which is basically defined as " What feels and makes me feel most comfortable ".
    So be it. Power to those who are comfortable in "their own skin", however much they choose to show off or cover up with whatever they please.

    In closing I will admit that I am hung up on stye and trying to stay young looking without looking ridiculous...... BUT....... I have come to admire those who age and do it in their own comfortable style.
    They rock and I hope you will too.

  16. Tina-Boomerina


    Okay, I'll just come right out and say it, "Cover up anything you didn't have when you were 18 or didn't sculpt to the ideal form in the gym."

    Yes, I'm kind of kidding when I say that, but I live MY OWN fashion life by that "cover up anything you didn't have when you were 18" line. And, all women are forced to live "within the constraints of the shallow judgement" of others from the age of 12 on... so I don't like it when guys start whining about having to wear long pants or a shirt with actual buttons... or whatever.

    Baby, you are a guy. You have NO idea what women go through... throughout their whole lives. It takes freaking guts to buck the trend and NOT curl your hair or NOT straighten your hair or NOT wear makeup... or whatever fad the current trend decrees.

    You've never worn high heels while traipsing across the cobblestones of Paris. You've never dealt with snotty young salesgirls while being fitted for a bra... as those skinny teenagers snicker with their friends on the other side of the curtain.

    Guys don't take sh*t every day for looking older. Well, maybe gay guys do... but most men are able to coast until their late 60s or 70s. So, most of you have NOTHING to complain about.

    Yes, I agree that the lucky amongst us get old. Some of us even get smarter as we age. And, I've been a do-your-own-thing type of gal since the 1960s, so I'm not going to wag my finger at you if you look like a slob... or you dress a bit differently.


    As for shorts and baseball caps... it's a common style in my newly adopted hometown... and in Hawaii, where I've lived twice. So, I'll concede that what looks good on a man is relative to where he lives/vacations.

    (And, I will admit that I recently met a guy named Larry and he looked fabulous in a baseball cap. It's the only hat that would suit him... and it REALLY does suit his face and his style. So, a baseball cap IS a great look for some guys. And, most of the men in Bend, Oregon wear shorts... but Bend is not NYC or London or even Vancouver.)


    All of you guys can wear whatever you want. You can wear your cowboy-print jammies to work and wave your freak flag high. However, I still believe it's common courtesy to try to look halfway decent... according to the "rules" of the area in which you find yourself. I ALSO believe that you should find your own fashion style... as well as your own lifestyle... and your own "meaning of life" style... so I'm not a control freak.

    It's still a free country. You are free to wear whatever you want. However, if you have snot running down your dirty face and you have your t-shirt on backwards, people WILL treat you differently no matter how wonderful you are. So... how you present yourself to the world matters... whether you or I like it or not.

    And, I try as hard as anyone to NOT NOT NOT judge people by age or income or clothing or car or wrinkles or lack of hair or increased body size. I have always been like that. I believe in the beauty of the inner soul... but most people are much more shallow than I am. I REALLY don't care about people's race. I don't care if someone grew up in the hood. I don't ignore people because they have disabilities. I don't discriminate or notice much difference in anyone... other than the obvious recognition of crutches or Afros or Korean accents or silver spoons still lodged in mouths. But, I give EVERYONE the same benefit of the doubt. I talk to everyone... even men in shorts and socks. (joke)

    I treat everyone with kindness... even ex-husbands whenever possible.


    I actually wrote this article because I helped my husband find a better type of clothing, which flattered his aging body. And my husband suggested (several times) that I put my ideas in writing. That's why I'm telling guys what I think might accentuate their "positives" and minimize their "negatives". I'm not telling men they're worthless morons if they don't wear the "right" clothing.

    So, if you think it's shallow of me to tell men different ways to cover up their beer guts, so be it. If those old guys think they look good with dirty tees stretched tightly over their Buddha bellies, they can continue wearing what they wore when they were 30... blissfully ignorant of the attitude they are projecting to their friends and neighbors.

    As a rule, I do not care what other men wear, but I do care what my husband wears. And, that's why my husband insisted I write this article. He noticed the difference in how he looked... and so did other people.


    However, if your point is that there are more important things in life than cosmetically enhanced beauty, I heartily agree with you. (Hey, I've lived in LA... ughhh... what a horrid environment for one's ego.) However, I wrote this article to help men find a new, more fitting style as they age.

    It just makes sense for men to change their style as their bodies change. I'm sure you'd laugh out loud if you saw me in the same fringed suede mini dress I wore as a teen... with MY belly bulging out in all the wrong places.

    I would hope that most older women adapt their style somewhat as they age. Why shouldn't men?


  17. Jerry

    Just trying not to stand out in the south as a Yankee or a 74 yrae old target in St.Louis and Memphis. Thanks

    • Tina-Boomerina


      It sounds like you're doing the right things because you're still around at 74. Good for you that you even care. Most guys would wear their pajamas everywhere if they thought they could get away with it.

      I've never been to St. Louis, but I once went to Memphis in May for a blues festival. The music was great. The only people I remember on the street were a bunch of college kids (guys and girls) who were totally smashed (drunk) and could hardly stand up. It was hard to tell how they were dressed because they all kept falling down and acting crazy.

      I have a feeling you weren't hiding out with that bunch, thank God. Hope you like the South. You don't have to fit in too much if you don't like what they wear. Be your own groovy self.


  18. Jim

    If it fits well, isn't trendy, and looks good on you, wear it. Age has nothing to do with it. It's all about personal style and how one carries that off. SImple really.

    • Tina-Boomerina


      That makes sense to me. I, sometimes, add age into the title so people can get a sense of... or a feel for... what my article is about. (Bad grammar. Deal.) With most articles (including this one), you can ignore the age part.

      However, I would change your mantra, slightly. I would say, "If it fits well and looks good on you, wear it." I have no problem with "trendy" clothing and accessories.

      I would agree you should not go too trendy with wedding clothes (half your wedding album may show up on Facebook someday) and business clothes. Those are two situations where you shouldn't go too far out on a limb in any direction.

      However, I like trendy clothing on men (when it fits well and looks good). Why do you dislike trendy clothing? As long as you stay within the bounds of reasonable taste, it seems as if a fella might get tired of wearing the "same old same old" day in and day out. What happened to all the peacocks? ... the dedicated followers of fashion?

      Hey, there's nothing wrong with having a bit o' fun every now and then whether you're over 40 or under 40. And, you don't want to look like a boring accountant do you? (I studied accounting for 3 and 1/2 years. Ugh. I speak from experience.)

      However, in general, you're on the right track. AND, I'm always happy to find out there ARE men who give a ratsass about their looks.



  19. Dan

    I can appreciate the goals of this article. However, I need fashion "DOs" not fashion "DON'Ts". The article exhibits a negative approach to the audience it is trying to help. I can enjoy jabs at middle-aged guys. This is not the forum for it. A little compassion for the people you're trying to help can go a long way.

    • Tina-Boomerina

      Dan, I am two weeks behind with work, but I will add your article to my to-do list. I love middle-aged guys. Don't get me wrong. It's just how I write all my articles... it's my whacked sense of humor.

      I'll have to experiment more on my husband and get some answers from friends (probably a few of my gay-guy friends) to write an article about what guys should wear. I'm not a fashion expert. I just write about what I see and I write about what I know from real-life experience.

      The idea of wearing an open shirt over a T-shirt (which I crudely demonstrated in the photo "Cover Beer Belly with T-shirt and Overshirt" was taken from an episode of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. Normally, I don't watch TV, but I was in a hotel room and bored. QEFTSG just happened to be on.

      Unfortunately, most "how to dress a guy" shows include mostly tips for younger, thinner guys. That's not much help for my husband's situation. And, my husband is the only reason I wrote this article. I helped old hubster's look and old hubster said I should write an article for men.

      Most older guys who are tall and/or skinny will not have the same problems as medium-height men who are not gym rats. Seriously, I think my husband is genetically predisposed to have a belly, so I'm having trouble dressing him. And, hubster is my guinea pig.

      However, you have a great point, Dan. I'll try to find more things that look good on average guys. It took me years to find the right brands for my body-type... so I can only promise to try.

      I actually have compassion for most people. I do, however, have a snarky sense of humor that's difficult to suppress. Don't take the article personally. Do tell me exactly what I can do to help you... if you see this reply. (I may not have an answer, but you never know.)

      Guys are hard to dress. You don't have all the options that women have (maxi dresses, swing dresses, pantsuits, wrap dresses, leggings). And, NO, I am not telling designers to push man-leggings. Those things are horrible. I have to give men the benefit of the doubt because men have a small set of options when it comes to fashion. And... the older a man gets the fewer the options.

      When I have more time, I will try to write another article with specific tips. However, even though my heart is filled with compassion ... okay that's a little white lie... my article will end up having the same sense of humor. I use humor as a shorthand way to explain the truth.


  20. Charles dickens

    If I listened to every critic on the Web there would be no clothes to wear after 40. Yell Steven Spielberg and Arnold Palmer not to wear baseball hats. Your article is ridiculously narrow minded and assumes that men are all dumpy after 40. I'm 51 and still have the same body as I did in college. No... I'm not fooling myself. I really do, and so do many men. I wear suits 5 days a week and casual business attire on Sundays. I like to wear a Brooks (or any brand) brothers baseball cap and sneakers on Saturdays. As to caring about what women like you think about how we dress, take heart, we could not care less.

  21. brendan shapiro

    Trying to get guys who don't give a damn about their health or appearance to dress well is as losing a battle as trying to get them to the gym. Fat old guys who feel like crap because of their giant beer guts don't give a whit about what they look like. They will dress in whatever rags take the least time and effort. I can't imagine not being able to look down and see my own penis, but they're obviously fine with it -- some of them for 20 years and more. Nothing makes a person, male or female, look older than fat.

  22. Dave

    We've lived in the South for 20+ years, SC, then FL, and soon moving to Tampa and I've always worn shorts when the weather is warm enough.

    I'm 55 and agree that pants look better, but I value comfort, so I guess I'll be wearing shorts for a while longer :-)

    I appreciate your article, your perspective, and tips shared in both the article and comments that followed.

    I still own a pair of marshmallows (white gym shoes), but only wear them to walk the dogs these days. I was always a fan of all-white gym shoes, but I recognize that unless I become a rapper, they probably aren't my style now.

    I did used to wear short white socks (ankle length) with gym shoes and shorts, but now, mostly sandals. If we're going to do a lot of walking, I wear gym shoes with low-cut (no-show) socks.

    Speaking of socks, I am so sick and tired of plain socks with jeans, I recently bought several pairs of brightly colored socks with bold patterns to wear with jeans and colored gym shoes.

    The socks don't have to match the shoes, the jeans or the shirt. They're just colorful :-)

    I'm not sure if that's good fashion, but it pleases me.

    One thing I definitely agree with about a guy getting older is that it becomes even more important to get a regular haircut and trim all that hair that grows where it never used to.

    I try to keep my hair cut short, with clean lines and a clean neck. Eyebrows and mustache trimmed, as I'm no Einstein . Nothing will make you look older than bushy unkempt hair and a grizzled unshaven face.

    Also, the current unshaven look for men, is for young men. Especially, if you're grey. A 10-day growth might look good on a 30 something, not so much a 50 something, unless you're George Clooney. (George and I are the same age, but I don't look like George)

    I don't want to look like I'm trying to dress like a young man, but I don't want to look like an "old guy" cliche either.

  23. Alabi2k

    What exactly is an "overtly gay town", and why is that a negative. In am 55 and wear shorts often, as it stays warm here in southern CA most of the year. I may not look like the model on the left anymore, but I am much closer in size to him than the individual on the right. I also wear slim fit jeans because I can. They fit well and are comfortable.
    I may not have a 6 pack, but I do have a flat stomach, and chose shirts and jackets accordingly.
    Just because you get older doesnt mean you have to give up on your body or let yourself go.

  24. Ron

    Tina, your comment "I know I'm on the road to "freaking old" but I haven't reached the dead-end cul de sac in that particular subdivision yet... but I can see it on Google Earth and I want to make a U-turn. - Tina-Boomerina" is now on my wall of quotes and I just love it.
    On the style questions I would really like to see photos of the English, Italian, or French men over the age of 50, or 60, you find stylish. One of the problems I find in most magazines featuring men's styles is they are geared for men and boys under 30 and are not the style I would expect an adult male to wear at any time.
    If you have a favorite American you find stylish, I would be happy to know who and why they stand out.

  25. Steven Patterson

    I'm gay. I'm 63. I spent years being well groomed and dressed to kill. Not anymore. I'm retired. I like to garden so it's old cargo pants cut off and hemmed abive the knee with t-shirts and flip flops or tennis shoes with socks (but the little ones that don't show). I don't give a shit about fashion anymore - not since my tits started sagging. I worked in shirts, ties, slacks and suits for 40 years. Now I just want to be comfortable.

    Here's one you left out. Flannel pants. Lounge pants. More like jammies. I don't wear them to the store, but in the a.m.s I cannot be found in anything else. And I do not care what anyone thinks of my clothing or my appearance. Just like the gray hair and wrinkles I've earned, I have also earned the right to dress like a slob.

    I'm not a big chubby guy tho. I do care about my body. I'm in the 5'8" range and around 165 and I try to keep it there. If I want to look good, I can still do that.

    I love long sleeve button downs, but I have no one I care to impress so for me it's mostly 501s and t-shirts. I have a little gut that comes and goes. Personally embarrassed about a big gut, I would never rack myself up like your husband in that pic. OMG. When I go out, I do wear button downs or polo shirts. It depends on the time of year. Summer is polo or loose short sleeve buttons. Winter is always the time for buttons. It gets cold here.

    I like baseball caps! Keeps the sun out of my eyes. But I also own 2-3 Brit driving caps. I really like them. they go with my gray hair and funky beard. And i have some of those baseball-cap-like-caps that aren't baseball caps.

    One more thing you missed. If a guy has bad toe nails or he doesn't take care of them, he should never be caught in any kind of sandals or flips. Yuck! Nothing more revolting than any guy's long, filthy toe nails. Disgusting. Finger nails, too. Ear hair. Eck. Personal grooming habits speak volumes regardless of dress.

    And nose hair belongs inside the nose, and clip those ridiculous eye brows. Slob is one thing, pig is another.

    Great article. Lots of good comments. Cheers and Happy Holidays.

  26. Steven Patterson

    One thing I wanted to say that I left out of my previous post is try to age gracefully. Male or female. I'm not 20 anymore so I neither groom nor dress like I am. People who don't get that make me cringe.