Baby Boomer Love After 50
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I listed those values that were important to me, such as being attractive, slender, educated, past career, desire to travel, etc. On the other hand, there were attributes, such as overweight, smoking, heavy drinking, children at home, past relationships, dating distance, etc., which were possible negatives.
This quest led to not only appreciating, but also understanding the difficulties that many have in finding someone new in their lives. Putting their toe in the proverbial relationship water became a difficult thing for many.
Friends filled the void, but friends go home at night and you are still left with certain emptiness. Being single in a couple's society diminishes life and diminishes the activities you once had and would still like to have. Sitting alone in a restaurant, you are surrounded by couples and families talking and laughing, while you stare at the blank menu. At parties, you feel like you are back at the junior high school dance when others were dancing and you were left sitting alone. You try the mall or park and you are left with the visions of couples walking hand in hand, doing things, and going places… together. You try to travel and what seemed like so much fun when you were together with someone now lacks that same luster.
You are faced with the fact that it is a couple's world and to be single, and alone, is to be the odd man or woman.
How Do You Meet Someone When You’re Over 50?
The question is how can you meet someone, especially when you are in your fifties, sixties or even seventies? Is there someone out there that would be interested in what you have to offer – a relationship.
Having spent my career in studying and analyzing business situations, I decided to use this experience to understand and write about the concerns and opportunities for dating in this new Boomer generation. I ended up interviewing 300 women and men about their relationship desires, their difficulties in meeting that “right” person, their concerns as to how this search might affect their friends, family, personal finances, safety and a multitude of dating issues. The whole concept of dating anew, which seemed so natural in high school and college, now became complex for the Boomer generation.
Dating Myths and Concerns
I learned that there were many myths about re-entering the dating scene. High on the list for women was their personal safety. They had heard the horror stories of online dating or going on blind dates. They wanted to know where and how to look for someone new, how to protect themselves, and what the potential was that someone would be interested in what they had to offer.
For men, especially those who had achieved some financial success, the concern was that someone might only be interested in what they could bring to the relationship. Others that had gone through bad divorces were concerned about getting back into a similar relationship.
What is a single individual to do? Should they just throw in the towel and accept a life of loneliness? The one thing that I have found is that the woman of my dreams is not going to walk up and knock on my door. That is not saying that it won’t happen, but the odds of it happening are probably the same as winning the lottery, but in this case it is life's lottery and your future.
You Have to Believe There Is Someone for You
In my quest, I found that that there are multiple ways to find that new person in your life. What are lacking for many are the motivation and the belief that there is someone for you if you are willing to take the steps necessary to meet and develop that relationship.
Will there be disappointment along the way, sure, but that is part of the process. You have to believe that as you are looking for someone new in your life that on the opposite side there is someone looking to meet and be with you. Finding that person may take time, however if you still have 20 – 30 years left to your life, won’t it be worthwhile to find someone to share them with?
If you have questions for Marion Eggleton, ask them in the comment section at the bottom of the page.
Marion A. Eggleton is the author of Baby Boomer Love: A Guide to Finding New Love After 50.
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