Surviving Infidelity: 5 Steps to Repairing Your Relationship
by Kari Lloyd,
Dealing with infidelity is difficult, but it's not impossible to repair a relationship even after someone cheats. However, it will be necessary for both parties to fully recommit themselves to the idea of being together.
In order to do this, you will need to understand the feelings of everyone involved. After all, if there has been a fundamental breakdown in the relationship, you will need to be willing to work together to correct the issue.
Five Tips for Repairing Your Relationship
Some women believe that they need to keep their feelings bottled up if they are going to repair their relationship. Sadly, this will only exacerbate issues when dealing with affairs and marriage. Instead, it is crucial to openly and honestly discuss why your spouse or significant other cheated, and you also need to tell them exactly how you feel about the situation. For example, it is important to let yourself confront them and tell them how much they hurt you. If you fail to express these emotions, you will suffer under the weight of everything that you never said.
2. Start Slowly
Even if the two of you have been together for 25 years, it will not be possible to resume your normal daily routine as if nothing ever happened. Therefore, the two of you will need to undergo the slow process of rebuilding your shared lives. In many cases, it will be best for one of you to leave the house for at least a week or two so that you both have enough space to sort through your feelings.
During this time, it is a good idea to get together in neutral areas such as a coffeehouse to talk. However, you should make sure that you do not spend the entire time discussing the infidelity. Instead, you should let yourselves begin to reconnect with each other.
3. Go to a Relationship Coach or Counselor
For some couples, the only way to openly discuss the situation is to work with a coach. This will help keep the two of you from getting into a shouting match while you talk about what happened, and a coach can also provide both of you with new tools for working through your issues. A coach or counselor will be especially beneficial when you first decide to rebuild your relationship because their office will give you an emotionally safe place to meet while the two of you are taking some physical distance from each other.
4. Make any Necessary Changes
The person who cheated needs to be willing to make changes in order to remove the temptation to cheat again. For example, if they are cheating with someone from work, it might be necessary for them to ask for a transfer to a new location or leave the company altogether. However, if the two of you agree on this course of action, you have to be willing to accept the fact that their new job might pay less money, and you should not fight with them about the financial change in the future.
5. Be Patient with Each Other
The feelings of betrayal and guilt that accompany infidelity can take a long time to be resolved. Therefore, the two of you need to be patient with each other, and you need to understand that you are going to have good and bad days for a while.
Making the decision to forgive someone for cheating on you will not be easy, but if the two of you are committed to working through your issues, it is possible to have a solid relationship again. By giving each other time and working with a counselor, you can resolve the problems that led to the infidelity.
Kari Lloyd is a freelance writer who writes about relationships, romance, affairs and marriage.
More Relationship Articles for Baby Boomer Women:
What do you think of this article? Leave a message at the bottom of the page. If you like our site, give us a Google Plus with the "g+" button.