Do You Have to Be Skinny to Be Pretty or Sexy?
by Christina Gregoire
I was skinny for most of my life, and then I started taking medication that made me gain weight. Well, even when I weighed a lot less, I didn't think I was that pretty, but I did think my body was sexy.
But, Now I’m Fat
As you can imagine, I’ve spent a lot of time trying to come up with ways to make myself look better, even though I'm probably going to be large for the rest of my life. Hey, I don’t have much choice about my weight problem. My medication is the only thing that has ever calmed my horrible migraines. I was forced to stop the meds years ago (for a short time) and I lost 20 pounds immediately without trying at all, but the migraines returned.
So, I’ve chosen the lesser of two evils. Fortunately, I don’t live in LA.
I Used to Be Skinny
When I was a young teen, I was so skinny that I couldn’t find clothes that fit. I had to buy from the children’s department. I drank Instant Breakfast in addition to my regular breakfast, which usually consisted of some highly sugared, colorful, crunchy cereal covered by whole milk or half ‘n half, but nothing helped to me fill out.
Needless to say, those days are long gone…just as they are long gone for you.
I Say That Boomerinas Can Be Fat and Sexy
I decided to write this article after seeing the photo (at the top of this page) of Valeria Marini, an Italian Actress. Okay, since Valeria was born in 1967, she’s not quite old enough to be a Baby Boomer, but she’s close.
Hey, I know Valeria is tall and gorgeous, but she’s also chubby and voluptuous and wearing something that you can almost see through. If you look closely, you will see her thong undergarment, which has been sewn into her dress. No, I’m not recommending you try this semitransparent look. We all know the culture is a bit different in Italy. However, you can use Val as the poster girl for totally sexy, filled-out, plus-size curves. (The photo on the right from Amy Childs shows a good style for showing off cleavage.)
Smoke and Mirrors Can Make You Look Prettier
If you’re going out on the town, planning what to wear on your vacation or trying to seduce your new boyfriend, the easiest way to look sexy is to use “smoke and mirrors.”
Smoke and mirrors are props that are used in magic tricks when a magician diverts his audience’s attention away from an object by using special mirrors and bursts of smoke. When I use the phrase "smoke and mirrors" with fashion, I mean that I'm using props to make people look where I want them to look and to make people ignore the parts of my body I want to hide.
What Works for Me
Okay, right now I’m talking to older women like myself. The first thing I want to bring to your attention is cleavage. Now, I am not telling you young 20-something girls to show off your tittytittybangbangs and going all slutty, but if you are a woman who is old enough to be a granny, you might want to consider pulling out the big guns, if you know what I mean.
1. Cleavage: If you want to divert people’s attention away from your flabby arms, your demonic hips, and/or your gluttonous gut, the easiest way to do that is by wearing something low cut. A deep V-neckline will also make you look less top heavy if that’s one of your issues. So, unless your cleavage is so wrinkled that you look like a geriatric Vegas showgirl, flaunting a bit of skin is the easiest place to start. However, you do not need try for the title of Ms. Pornoverthehillstar either.
2. Divert People’s Attention: I usually (try to) redirect people’s attention away from my wrinkles and the other things I don't like by wearing a hat. And, wearing a hat seems to work.
Actually, my dermatologist told me, years ago, that I should shield my face from the sun, and he gave me a brochure for Sun Precautions sunhats. Well, guess what? This turned me into a crazed "hat freak." I hardly ever leave the house without a big floppy, a cute cloche or a fabulous fascinator. However, if you don’t want to buy into the hat addiction, you can give the eyes of your adoring public a place to land (a focal point) away from your tush or tum or turkey neck by wearing huge earrings or some kind of hair adornment.
Or, go all Hollywood and wear your big sunglasses at night…but not while driving. Just keep trying new things until you find something that seems to work for you and make that your signature style. If you do this right, you’ll have people copying your look from Tacoma to Timbuktu.
3. Wear sexy leopard and other seductive prints: Not only do they make you appear wild and sensual, they also do a grand job of camouflaging everyday overabundance. I really love the plus-size leopard dress.
4. Use draping to camouflage your tummy or your thick waist: I do not know who is dressing Amber Riley, but her dresses are a true art form. Working with a fat tum is almost impossible. I know. I have one. Also, check out how Amber's gown leads your eye up to her face with the sparkly detailing and how the drape of her skirt leads your eye down to the ground to make her look taller. This designer is a national treasure. He or she has managed to keep your eye everywhere except her middle.
5. Just pretend you’re skinny and be yourself. Here’s a grand example of Mo’Nique doing just that. Mo’Nique could have played it safe with an all black dress, but she seems to be flaunting every pound of her body packed into her red, skin-tight dress.
A Sexy Role Model for Baby Boomers: Kathleen Turner
Kathleen Turner has guts: I don’t think Ms Turner (born in 1954) was ever embarrassingly skinny. And, I was one of thousands of people who saw her stand stark naked (totally in the flesh) in a Broadway play, where she was cast as Mrs. Robinson in The Graduate, in 2002. And, honey…she wasn’t skinny. So, the next time you think you’re too fat, just look to Kathleen, your mentor, and imagine yourself walking out of the house in the buff, with no protective camouflage.
Voluptuous Not Skinny
Here are three females who have been voted as some of the hottest women in the world.
- Marilyn Monroe
- Kim Kardashian
- Sofia Loren
What do they all have in common? They’re all bigger than a size 4.
Now, I’ll let you answer these two questions. Do you think these three women are/were pretty and sexy? Do you think you can be pretty and sexy if you start applying your own variation of smoke and mirrors? Damn straight you can.
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