Should Men Wear Socks With Shorts? More Fashion Help for Clueless Men Over 40
by Tina Boomerina (Christina Gregoire)
Can men wear socks with shorts? Well, it depends. The answer is yes... if the man is a German tourist over 40 or 50. And, the answer is yes if the man is engaging in a sport that requires shorts and socks (hiking, jogging, tennis, etc.). However, the answer is no... if the man doesn't want to look like a clueless dork.
I mean... if you're George Clooney or Brad Pitt you can wear socks and shorts. But, if you're not... pay attention. Most men and women don't look like movie stars, so they need a tiny bit of advice.
Why are Older Men So Freaking Clueless When it Comes to Fashion?
How did I get to the point where I decided to write about men's clothing again?
Answer: My husband, Genghis Gregoire (Mr. Boomerina), got up this morning and decided he wanted to wear a T-shirt and shorts along with A PAIR OF SUSPENDERS to keep his shorts up.
Men Should NOT Wear Socks (or Suspenders) With Shorts
I explained to Genghis that he could wear whatever he wanted when I wasn't around, however he had to look somewhat presentable if he wanted me to accompany him.
- I have put up with his everyday outfit, consisting of a T-shirt, a pair of jeans, and a pair of suspenders, for quite some time.
- However, a T-shirt, a pair of shorts, and a pair of suspenders is beyond the pale unless my husband is planning to learn how to yodel and he's planning to hang out with a bunch of folk-dancing Bavarian friends in Lederhosen.
Well, the moment I told Genghis that his suspenders would not work with shorts, he went into a major sulky temper tantrum. I told him that my critique was a fashion thing and not a personal attack, but it took Genghis about an hour to calm down. And, then... since he seemed almost reasonable at that point, I decided to go for broke and tell him something that I didn't think he would ever comprehend... I told him that:
- Men should not wear socks with shorts.
Then Genghis said, "I don't know if it's an old wives tale, but I was told as a child that white stockings absorb the moisture and keep you from getting athletes foot. Plus your feet stay clean in a dusty environment. And, white socks annoy you (Tina Boomerina) and I want to annoy you."
Well, how could I argue with that? And, if my husband doesn't care if he has "style" or not... there's not much I can do. However, I think most men would rather risk the possibility of athletes foot than risk being considered an uneducated, unemployed, possum-eating bumpkin from a cave in Arkansas. But, I could be wrong. Men are something of a mystery to me.
Men Should Not Wear Socks With Shorts:
Look at the photo above. What do you think? I say all three of these guys look hot. (Of course, they're male models so they're probably gay... but they're still hot.)
It doesn't matter whether the guy is wearing sneakers or boaters or loafers or whatever... socks look dorky with shorts. If you can't handle going sockless, wear long pants like a big boy.
Men Should Not Wear Socks With Sandals:
I doubt I need to tell any of you fashion conscious people, but men should not wear socks with sandals. Normally, I would not even bother explaining this, but I've been on several cruises where I've seen men wearing shorts, sandals, and socks. Sometimes, the socks are black. Sometimes, the socks are white. I don't know which is worse.
Tip for Guys: If your sandals (or shoes) bother you when you don't wear socks, it's because you haven't broken in your shoes properly. Try wearing your sandals with socks inside your house until the leather conforms to your feet. Just take the freaking socks off before going out the front door.
Should Men Wear Socks With Trousers?
OK. This is where it starts to get into the tricky zone.
I once dated a cute guy ...a little bit psycho... but very tall and cute... who wore loafers with no socks. Mr. Cute Guy felt he had to explain his quirky sense of fashion to me, so he told me he didn't wear socks because going without stockings was more comfortable... like I really cared. (The guy was from the Midwest. I guess people in Michigan have fashion rules and regulations that people must follow. And, you my dear reader-friend may be from a time in the distant past where socks were required... that's why I'm going off on this tangent.)
Anyway, it turns out that the Michigan guy was ahead of his time. These days, a lot of young, hip men don't wear socks, even when they're wearing long pants.
In case you live in Nebraska, men's fashion has been changing quite a bit in the past few years due to the influence of the hipsters. Dapper dandies have come up with a new set of fashion "rules" or "non-rules". So, if you're the kind of guy who loves to be on the cutting edge, you now have the choice of wearing socks with long pants or going barelegged and showing off your sexy, hairy ankles.
Do Men Need to Wear Socks With Suits and Other Formal Wear?
If you work at an accounting office, you should wear socks with your suits. If you work in the entertainment industry, you can do whatever you want. I actually think it's kind of sexy to not wear socks with a suit. It takes a supremely formal look and turns it somewhat casual.
On the other hand, I also love patterned socks with suits. They're so veddy, veddy British. And, I happen to believe that men in London are the best dressed fellas in the world. Well... I've also seen a few cool dudes in Paris and Rome. So, all you fashionably clueless men should sit up and pay attention 'cause every girl crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man.
Your Socks Should Match Your Trousers:
You can never go wrong when you match your socks to your trousers.
This creates a long, unbroken line, which makes you look slightly taller in some instances. However, once you've reached the point in your life when you're ready to experiment with different kinds of stocking styles... in order to create a unique look that makes you look better than you really do... you can throw this color rule out the window.
Listen to Your Wife or Girlfriend (or Boyfriend) When it Comes to Fashion:
If you're not sure whether to wear socks or not, or if you're not sure if your bright red or colorfully patterned socks are right for you ... and your outfit ... ask someone. If you're a guy over 40, 50, 60, or so, ask your wife or girlfriend.
Personally, I don't care if you wear socks with shorts or not, but your wife might. However, I DO care if MY husband wears socks with his shorts. So, I'm very happy when I see an older man wearing something smart. That way I can tell my husband, "See, that guy isn't wearing socks with shorts. "And, sometimes, if I'm really lucky, I get to say, "See, none of these guys are wearing shorts."
Soooooooooo, I guess I do care what you wear.
A Happy Ending to the Story:
Most of the time, my husband doesn't pay much attention to what I write. He thinks I'm making all this crap up. I assure you... I'm not. I do research and I use common sense.
But... this time there's a happy ending to the story.... My husband, Genghis Gregoire, stopped wearing white socks with his white sneakers. He also started wearing REAL shirts with his shorts... you know... the kind of shirt with buttons and a collar. AND he stopped wearing suspenders with his shorts. THIS is a HUGE breakthrough.
So, there's hope for all you unfashionable men out there. And, even more importantly, there's hope for all the wives and girlfriends of all the clueless fashion-zombie-men out there.
A Note to All the Older Men Stuck in a Fashion Time Warp:
We don't care what Eddie Haskell wore in the 1950s.
Unless you're a modern day beat-hipster, and you know what you're doing, you might want to pay attention to the advice in this article. You will never go wrong following these timeless fashion tips about not wearing shorts and socks. And... in so doing, you will be a good fashion role model for cluelessly unfashionable American men. However, I also believe in creating your own style. So, wear what looks good on YOU.
More Fashion Articles for American Men & Their Chic Wives:
Photo Credits: Prshots.com.
- Main Photo: Men's at Dune.
- Genghis in Shorts, Suspenders & Socks - Plus 2 Guys in Lederhosen: Christina Gregoire, Wikimedia Commons, Wikimedia Commons.
- Don't Wear Socks With Shorts - Men's Style: Matalan, Crew Clothing, M&Co.
- No Socks With Sandals for Men: Men's at Dune, House of Fraser.
- Do Men Need to Wear Socks With Pants? Men's at Dune, Men's at Dune, Matalan.
- Can Men Wear Suits Without Socks? Men's at Dune, Debenhams, Burton Menswear London.
- Colored Socks, Patterned Socks for Men: Marks&Spencer, Next, Marks&Spencer.
What do you think of this article? If you're a woman with a boyfriend or husband who wears something you hate, let me know... send me a photo... and I'll put his picture on this article. You can do it anonymously (or not). Leave a comment at the bottom of the article.