It’s Hip to Be Old: Things They Should Make for Baby Boomers
by Tina Boomerina (Christina Gregoire)
It’s so much fun being a Baby Boomer, because no matter what age you are, your age is the hippest, the greatest, the most cool, and the most fun. Well, maybe not, but that is what marketers and advertisers say because they want to sell you stuff. So, these days... It's hip to be old.
So, I thought I’d give the makers of Pet Rocks, Barbie, Viagra, Walgreen’s Pill Reminder apps, and Jitterbug cell phones a few ideas about what might be the next big thing(s) for the huge Baby Boomer market. Okay, this article was meant to be funny, but you never know… I might just come up with a winner… by accident.
Products for Baby Boomers
I still don’t think that Baby Boomers consider ourselves to be “seniors,” but in case you haven’t noticed, the Fashion Industrial Complex has decided that gray hair is “in,” which is just as weird as when they declared big butts to be “in.” Yeah, I know. They’ll do anything. They are total BoomerHounds. But, what can I do? I guess I might as well join them.
Psychedelic Day-Glo Walkers
At some point, Boomers are going to have to make their walkers into a part of their fashion statements. I’ve designed a beta version of what I call the Laugh-In Mod Walker.
Stupid Gag Gift for Your Old-But-Groovy Friends:
If you like that psychedelic walker you can get it on a set of baby boomer playing cards - for a gag gift. I got bored one day and made some zazzle things. Don't ask me why. People seem to like these playing cards, though.
You can see a bunch more silly stuff for boomers here. Now you know how I waste my time. (Someday I'll get the proper tools... and training... and I'll make MORE fun crap that everyone wants... but nobody really needs... the kind of stuff that makes great gag gifts for those times when you want to acknowledge your friends in a way other than Facebook... but those times when you don't want to spend more than a couple of bucks.)
Well, since many Baby Boomers are into different fashions, manufacturers should create other walkers that might be called something along the lines of Carnaby Street Walker, Grateful Head Dancing Bears, Jimi Hendrix Takes Acid (Day-Glo paisley), Saturday Night Feverish, Credence Clearwater Country, Luke Sky Walker, and I Wanna Be More Sedated (punk style).
Hip Mobility Scooters for Baby Boomers
Well, there will always be the obvious way to glam up a senior scooter by making it into a Harley wannabe, but how about less overdone ideas. Why not make those scooters (and golf carts for those Boomers who live in Florida or Arizona) into mini “cars.” Personally, I think that the Mustang Sally version above would be a big seller. Other versions that Boomers might like include the Janis Joplin Porsche Scooter, the Bumper Car Scooter, the New York Cabbie Scooter, the Little Red Firetruck Scooter (complete with bell to annoy the neighbors), and the Batmobile Scooter.
Baby Boomer Magazines
Baby Boomers will soon need a few niche magazines such as Nursing Home & Garden and Mademoiselle Widow. These mags and websites should include articles such as “How to Tell Your Nursing Home Roommate to Turn Down Eric Clapton,” “Make Your Nursing Home Room Look Like a Dorm,” “Best Websites for Jimmy Choo Orthopedic Shoes,” and “DVF Wrap Dresses Favored by Nursing Home Attendants,” and "How to Make Your Skin Look 80."
What Would You Like to See?
If you have any other ideas, leave them in the comment section at the bottom of the page. Of course, the Beatles’ lyrics will need to be changed to “When I’m 94,” but you already knew that.
More Articles for Hip Baby Boomer Women:
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