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Should You Stay Married After the Magic Is Gone? 21 Reasons

you will end up old and alone

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7. Married People Are Healthier: The US Health Department is promoting marriage because men and women have healthier lives when married. Many of these same benefits are also derived from just living together.

8. You Have Someone Who Can Help You: When you are married, you have someone to take care of you when you’re sick. This is important when you get older. And, it's more difficult to find someone who will stick it out when you remarry at a somewhat advanced age. If you've been with the same person forever (or for a long time), they may feel an obligation to help you.

you should stay married

9. You Fit In: Married women have an easier time fitting into many social situations where a divorced woman might be made to feel uncomfortable. I can't think of a typical situation where the reverse would apply.

10. You Will Probably Repeat Bad Choices: Many women choose new men who are similar to their ex-husbands, and they end up in the same situation.

11. You Might Want to Retire Someday: A married couple, with the same financial goals, is more likely to stick to their financial plan and save money.

12. Life Is Not a Fairy Tale: Watch Pretty Woman again, while remembering that hookers are more likely to get beaten up than to marry handsome, wealthy men who look like Richard Gere.

13. You Will Have to Date Again: Even if you say you want to stay single, you will probably end up dating again at some point. Dating is not as much fun when you are older and your body has been through one or more pregnancies.

women often marry the same type of man over and over

14. You May Still Love Him: You probably still love your husband on some level. He is the father of your children. If you don't love him, maybe you can like him.

15. No Couples Never Fight: All couples argue about how to spend money, how to save money, how to to help their adult children, and how to deal with in-laws.

16. Divorced Men Are Broke: While there are exceptions to this rule, most men you will date will be divorced and they may have child-support payments. Also, they have lost their homes.

17. Holidays Are Easier When You Are Married: If you stick it out, you will be able to have your grandkids over for Thanksgiving AND Christmas because your family will be together. Divorce just makes holidays more stressful for everyone.

you may have to date

18. You Should Try to Keep Your Word: Following through on your commitment is unselfish and it makes you a good role model for your children. But, don’t make your kids miserable by stressing this point. You might as well get a divorce if you’re going to make your kids miserable over your married martyrdom.

19. You Will Lose All Your Friends: Well, you might keep one or two women friends after your divorce, but, in my opinion, you are more likely to lose your friends. If you don't lose your pals outright, your friends will distance themselves. And, this makes sense. You can't take vacations with another couple anymore. Dinner parties can be awkward because you don't fit in as well when you are single. It almost seems as if women think you want to steal their boring husbands or that your divorce is contagious. And, maybe there is something to this idea of contagion, when you look at “divorce clustering.” Well, whatever the reason, you will need to find new women friends who fit into your new life. And, that's not as easy as it sounds.

20. Your Next Husband Will Have an Ex-Wife: You might be in the awkward position of being a stepmother to someone else's children (or adult children) or a step grandmother to grandchildren who won't know what to call you. And, if the guy is divorced you'll have the fun of having "another woman" in your life.

21. You'll probably outlive the old dude. If you stay healthy, and the odds are with you, you can live your final years as a merry widow, and your kids won't hate you.

I know that this list contains a lot of generalities about life after divorce, and you might be the exception to the rule. However, it is more likely that you will have to deal with many of these problems. And, if you are already divorced, you know what I’m talking about. Yet, in spite of these difficulties, I know that you divorced babes will make it because you're strong.

More Articles for Baby Boomer Women:

Divorce Over 50: The Good and the Bad of a Gray Divorce

Protecting Your Assets Before You Divorce

Drive for Romantic Love Stronger Than Sex Drive

Do's and Don'ts of Helping a Friend in a Bad Relationship

What do you think of this article? Leave a comment at the bottom of the page.

Tina Boomerina (AKA Christina Gregoire) is a Baby Boomer born at the end of 1952. Her mission is to make the internet a kinder and gentler place for Baby Boomer women around the world. Tina's specialty is fashion for women over 50.

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4 Comments

  1. Mary

    Thank you for writing this. I'm going to stay in my marriage.

    • Tina-Boomerina

      Mary,

      I wrote this to help women. I hope you are making the right choice. You can always change your mind later on, but I would, at the very least, talk it over with a therapist or priest or minister before making a final decision that cannot be undone.

      hugs,

      Tina Boomerina

      • Mary

        Hi, I just wanted to let you know that literally from the moment I made the decision to stay in my marriage things have gotten better. It's early days yet, but now that I have the mindset where I'm fighting for my marriage rather than trying to escape it, I'm feeling more hopeful than ever. My husband is a good man and a wonderful father. I know that he would be devastated if I left with our kids. Hopefully, with more communication and time he and I can love each other again like we used to. 18 years we've been married, we've come this far. I'm not giving up on us yet. Your article really opened my eyes and I will always be thankful that I found it at the moment I needed it the most. Thank you so much.

        Mary