Never Ask a Woman if She Wants a Senior Discount
by Christina Gregoire
When I was in my early 50s, I went with my husband to a movie matinee. My husband is quite a bit older than I am and, as I was with him, the young punk in the ticket booth loudly asked if I wanted the senior-discount price, too.
I was shocked. (Note: That is not my photo at the top of the page. My photo from the period in question is below.)
I was ready to have the young gentleman at the ticket counter fired. However, my husband, elated by the opportunity of saving another two dollars, jumped in and answered, “Yes,” before I could compose myself enough to say anything to the little ticket-booth delinquent... without tears in my eyes.
The reason I’m reminiscing about that horrible matinee experience is that my husband wants to see a movie in an hour, and he wants me to say I’m a senior so he can save one dollar. Well, at this point, I am several years closer to seniorhood (which I consider to be age 65, the traditional age of retirement), but that does not mean I am overjoyed at the thought of being considered a senior.
Well, my husband just became flustered, a few moments ago, when I told him I would not lie about my age at the movie theatre, and he said, “So, you would give them the extra dollar for no good reason?” Yes. I would. Guess what, darling husband, I am not from New Hampshire, where people would stand on their heads in a public bathroom for a nickel.
Hey, even though I am very frank about the fact that I am currently 59 and a half, it would take a lot more than one dollar to induce me to bring up my age during a brief monetary exchange with a sniveling stranger.
If I Want a Discount I’ll Ask
I might be willing to ask for a senior discount in some situations.
- If the discount were substantial… say… something like the senior discount for a first-class Eurail pass, I would definitely ask for the lower price.
- If no one else stood within earshot, and the savings were around $5-10 or more, I might ask about the senior discount.
- If I were a bag lady with a shopping cart filled with my favorite hats, I would ask for the senior-discount price. And, I would panhandle some spare change from the other party during the transaction, as well.
Baffled Ticket Takers and Restaurant Employees
This article is written for all you tatted hooligans and besmirched young ladies who may or may not give a shistleflick about keeping or losing your jobs.
Do not ask me if I want a senior discount. Do not ask my friends if they want a senior discount. Do not ask a 105-year-old woman with a walker and a big hearing aid if she wants a senior discount.
Note: For some reason, these rules about asking a customer if she wants the senior discount do not seem to apply to people from New Hampshire, New Jersey, and other strange Eastern states. However, these rules are chiseled in granite throughout the rest of the Western World, especially for those of you who are younger and who depend upon tips to meet those monthly rental expenses.
For Those Who Are Too Young to Know
Maybe this will get your attention:
- * For Males: Asking an older woman about her age is about as polite as someone mentioning that you have no job while you are trying to hit on some new girl.
- * For Females: Asking about a woman’s age during a commercial transaction is as much of a faux pas as a stranger on the street telling you that your ugly jeans make your butt look huge.
Believe me, if I am so desperate that I am willing to admit A.) that I am old and B.) that I am on the verge of being poverty stricken; I will bring up your company’s discount policy myself.
(Epilogue: My husband got his revenge by telling the man at the theatre that he wanted a ticket for one senior and one “almost senior.” Men are clueless.)
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